My Little Best Friend

I remember one desperate moment as a first-time-pregnant, mother-yet-to-be walking past the life jackets at Costco, and realizing they were for children, I got a glimpse of all the little and big things ahead of us in having a child. It was overwhelming in that moment to think of all that was to come from raising one precious soul.

Scott and I have recently noted how those moments of thoughtfulness have become reality and are unfolding before us every day. Our "baby" girl Sydney is suddenly so BIG, and it's so crazy just HOW big. 

When we started her in piano lessons almost 3 months ago--that is when it REALLY hit us how much she has actually grown up. I never thought that a 3.5 year old would be of the people I look up to the most. 

She is so much a part of my every day life, the good, the bad, even moreso than Scott right now at this phase of our lives, that she has become a part of me like no one else ever has (in a different way than Scott).

She is quite literally by my side in almost everything I do, everywhere I go, physically, emotionally, and many times spiritually. 

She is my Little Best Friend, and yet she is so big...

She started piano in the beginning of March.

She loves going to lessons because she loves her teacher, HollyPitt (one word ;)).

I used to think practicing as a youth was hard, 

but helping a 3 year old practice practicing is even harder.

Our very own "piano station" at home. haha

Syd got this roll-out piano from her aunt for Christmas

a couple years ago and we are so glad we have it! 

It went from being a kid toy to a legit instrument!

It's perfect for a small place like ours.

Future hurdler?

This is Sydney's palm tree bark dog.

We play with him at the park. 

She LOVES helping out! It makes her feel like a big girl.

Even though it's less convenient to have her helping sometimes, 

I'm living it up while I can!

I have a dishes picture too...somewhere...She LOVES bubbles washing dishes!!

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL- September 2013

REALLY?? That's big.

I was so used to seeing myself in hospital gowns there for a while

that she seemed so big to be in one herself at her well child check up.

They never had her in one before! I guess she's officially a big kid.

She started going to the dentist when she was 6 months old.

Time flies!

I think she looks a little TOO big here at the computer.

We go to the library fairly regular. 

She has always loved reading.

SUCH a little MOMMY!

She got her cousin Madie ready for bed from start to finish

when we visited KS in April.

When I was riding my bike trainer a lot she insisted on riding one too.

So I jimmy rigged a mini bike trainer next to me so we could work out together :)

 Slumber parties with dad :)

Crafting it up like Momma does every once in a while...

She loves helping make our cruise book towel animals for our guests who stay with us. 

We almost always make the elephants :)

Her Best Buddies

 These two were Best friends at first play- since 22 months!

Party girls!

 She loves to help water my pots. 

But here, she is watering her dead bean plant that we dumped out here

bc it died when we went to KS for 2 weeks.

(Notice the big girl shoes)

 She is one of the best moms I know to her 

baby doll "Isaac."

I hope I'm half the mom to her that she is to him!

Loved seeing this cute sight.

This was her first dance class experience.

Big girl biking..

Back in Galveston, she still rides her little red flyer trycicle. 

We don't have room to store anything actually her size! ha!

This was her cousin, Madie's bike. One day...

We paint our nails together lots.

She loves it. 

What a pro :)

This was a big girl moment.

Totally a big girl thing to be doing...chatting with the girls

Definitely big. :)

...But I believe that the thing that makes her the "biggest" was when she became a big sister for the first time, and then had to do the biggest, hardest thing a big sister has to do, and let all the fun that goes with that title go for a time. 

She buried her baby brother"in a box," while understanding with happiness that she would get him back to have and to hold again one day. 

About Isaac, she never worries, she never cries and she is most patient for the day she gets to be with him again. 

That is why I look up to her. 

She is mature beyond her years, and her spirit is the biggest of all about her.

I have no choice BUT to look up,

even as her brother looks up to her,
 I'm sure, 

even from above.

You mean the world to me Sydney, 

because you are my world right now, 

day in, and day out.

You. Are. Special.

I LOVE YOU!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!

Quote from Sydney just NOW as I get to the bottom of this:

"Don't cry, Mom! I love you!!!"

:)

Happy Memorial Day, Isaac and All!

We only have for sure one, maybe two Memorial Days left here near Isaac, and even so, he's still a good 30 minutes away. 

Totally worth packing up the roast chicken and having a picnic in the car in the pouring down rain/Tornado Watch for a few short minutes tonight so we could go be by our son. 

We love you, Isaac! And all those who have lived and served for good in any way!

Counting Down the Days

Today marks ONE MONTH until the big day we have been waiting almost a half a year to pass--a day that determines our future, a day that once over, we will finally get our Scotty back. 

You would think our current daily countdown would be focused on dropping HCG (pregnancy) levels followed by 6 months of keeping it that way-[to make sure I don't develop choriocarcinoma (extremely rare cancer of the placenta) from my last pregnancy and loss 2 months ago (Not Isaac's)].  

However, the main focus on our minds right now is getting to June 12th, so that we can finally have Scott again! In reality, there aren't many things worth counting down if I'm not counting them down with Scott. And right now, I'm not even with him enough to "have and to hold" because it's Step 1 (Medical Board Exam) that has him, and is holding him hostage until the day he checks out of that gruesome, 8-hour, beast of a test--which will have by then swallowed up 6 months of our family life.

No matter what it is we are counting down, when I have Scott there by my side to count down with, I can endure anything well. That is why it's been rough the last several months, and why my focus is to make it to June 12th, to get him back by my side (for much more than 30 minutes a day). Together, we can journey life's other countdowns, both good and bad, successfully, joyfully, and gratefully. 

We miss him so much! And he misses us. We are so proud of him for his sacrifice that will allow us more time as a family in the future. It's worth it. We are almost there. Just one more month...

By the end of February Sydney was really starting to wonder why she hardly ever saw daddy like she used to.
That's when we began the calendar cross off- a visual to help her understand better
when we will finally get daddy back.
She crosses it off all by herself, every night. :)

HOMEMADE SKIN...For My Best Friend's Wedding :)

At approximately right-before-picture-taking time of the big day, I could be found sitting on the floor in the bridal suite of the Longview Mansion, bridesmaids and hairdressers practically stepping over me as they passed through the opening, my elbows upon the chase lounge, frantically hand-stitching the last few threads around the shoulder of what I now refer to as  homemade skin. :)
I was scrambling to solve the more pressing of 2 problems, and it took several weeks of shopping, prepping, and a lot of skill and creativity and especially the help of others to pull it off.

The first obvious problem was that when the bridesmaid's dresses were ordered back in November, I was still 3 months post partum with Isaac, planning on getting pregnant again sometime before the wedding in April, but not knowing that I would be or how much weight I'd gain, or rather how much weight I'd lose from Isaac's pregnancy. Then I did become pregnant again... but that only lasted 2 1/2 months. There was a lot of fluctuation, including a reasonable deflation in my size after the D and C just a month before the wedding.

Needless to say, the dress size we tried to predict I would need was too big. On top of that, there was an alteration shop misunderstanding which concluded in the need for shorter and shorter heels (again, and then again).

Several shoe shopping trips and more $$$ than I wanted to spend later, I was able to achieve the "sweeping the floor" look that the dress was intended for.

However, the combination of my much-too-altered dress combined with my last-minute-find, one-inch heels, while solving one problem, created another and resulted in turning me into a vertically challenged hobbit in Heather's wedding pictures.

See below? Bahaha! Such a hobbit!

A 4 1/2 inch heel increase truly is the difference between a bridesmaid and a hobbit. 

Cracks me up!

Although I was such, next to the taller, heel-wearing bridesmaids--on the bright side, my feet were comfy all day and I came out on top with 3 pairs of new shoes! I'll take it :). Sorry, Scott, for all the shoe shopping sprees, and sorry Heather, for the hobbit in your photos--at least it was a hobbit without a black undershirt or cardigan! ;).

Which brings me to the main topic of this post. 

HOMEMADE SKIN

            -Heather is on left, I am on right-

(We are both naturally opposite of what our hair color currently is.

It's funny how we swapped our childhood hair colors :))

It was my childhood best friend since 2nd grade that was married at the end of April and I flew home to be a part of her special day.

You can see my "homemade skin" in this pic on the left by my shoulder. In some pics it's hard to tell! Which is exactly what I was going for. :) 

It was a beautiful day and I was honored to be a part of it.


Heather knew that with the bridesmaids dresses she picked out that I would want to wear an undershirt, cardigan or jacket to cover my shoulders (because of garments) and kindly told me to wear whatever made me comfortable.

I wear religious garments that are symbolic and representative of covenants I have made with God. I take these covenants seriously and honor them because I am so blessed by them. These blessings are more important to me than anything.

Part of these covenants is to always (except during certain activities) wear the garments. They serve as a daily and constant reminder to me to keep the promises I have made with God, so that I may benefit from spiritual protection and other blessings that doing so provides. Wearing garments is "An Outward Expression of an Inward Commitment" (<---Click for more explanation about this).

I wouldn't give these blessings up for anything! I love standing out with confidence because of it- so that others can see the happiness it brings me. It's a beautiful way to stand out.

I could feel the respect from others as the only one in the limo the morning of the wedding drinking straight orange juice in a wine glass, and later drinking rock candy and sprite instead of rock candy and wine.
I loved being questioned about what I was hand-stitching to cover my shoulders in the bridal suite before pictures. The sparkling cider the bride's family provided me during the wedding toast spoke love and respect to my heart again. I was so grateful for all the wonderful people around me with different beliefs and their acceptance of mine. It was a great opportunity to be an example and share with others what is so important to me, what brings me happiness.

And yet, the most important thing to me on this day, after keeping my covenants with God, was to not stick out like a sore thumb for Heather's ceremony or in Heather's wedding photos for her to look at in the years to come. I wanted her to be the only thing all eyes were drawn to. I wanted to keep a unified look with all of the other bridesmaids.
I wanted to find a way to keep the beauty, elegance, and look of the black dress while still keeping my covenants with God.

In most cases, a simple undershirt or a small cami/jacket solves this problem, but this dress had a long drapey scarf that hangs over the shoulder and extends all the way to the floor. You can kind of see it behind her arm in this pic.
A jacket going over the scarf would be awkward, and an undershirt would totally alter the design of the dress and take away the unity of all the bridesmaids.

I decided a nude undershirt was my best solution, but I wasn't going to settle for just any nude undershirt.
I borrowed nude shirts from friends, went searching in malls and stores and looked everywhere online for the perfect nude undershirt color, which I found does not exist.
All were too creamy, too white, too brown or too gray.

Then, I found a nude shirt with lace on top that was the PERFECT COLOR! It matched my skin tone soooo well! I bought it for it's fabric, hoping that I had the time and talent to make something of it.

When I got to Kansas for the wedding, both sisters and my mom stepped in and helped me with my dress situation, but it was my sister Michelle who ultimately created  out of the fabric from the lace-topped shirt I bought weeks before, this undershirt that blended so well that it looked like my skin (minus pores and freckles):

You can see it pretty well there below. Obvious pictures of it were rare because it blends so well! It was perfect!






How much easier would it have been to have just not worn garments! SO. Much. easier.
Choosing to go without my garments would have solved all the trouble and hours of searching, and borrowing and working on alternatives and effort and stress. But all of that is minute compared to the blessings I receive when I wear my garments and keep my covenants. No event or outward appearance is worth jeopardizing my spiritual protection and blessings. Not even for an hour. How grateful I am for my wonderful friends, both of my faith and those who are not, who love and respect me for the beliefs and standards I hold most dear to my heart, just as I hold those others dear to my heart.

After all was said and done, the most important factors of the day worked out beautifully. For me, I was able to wear my dress without altering the look of it and still keep my covenants and blessings. 

For all, the weather couldn't have been more perfect, the bride more beautiful, and the couple more lucky to have found each other and now be married to each other.
A good time was had by all, celebrating the covenants...

   ...of love,

--End Post--
________________________
Photos From the Day

Beautiful!!

*You can see the undershirt in the pic on the right, 

but it blends in with my back too well to tell, unless you look REALLY closely.

I love it!

               

Momma and sisters, minus Sarah!

Everyone is super candid in this shot...I love it...haha

To the Maid of Honor!! 

A most excellent friend. So sweet :)

To my new friends!! Ya'll are so awesome!

Cutie pie!

To Heather and Matt! 

So happy for you both!

Could that be the Bride in the Photo Booth?

Oh, yes, my family overtook the Booth. 

There are many more where these come from :) 

probably filing up a quarter of the guest book.

And although I really wished Scott could be there in the Photo Booth with us, 

he still managed to be a part this special day, from afar :)