Sunday, November 3, 2013

Dear Isaac: A letter to Heaven, and the World - PART III - The Letter

Part III of IV

*About this post: 
The contents of this entry are broken up into 4 parts- and posted over the course of 4 days. describe tender moments very close to my heart and are of great worth and significance to me. I share them out of gratitude for my angel son, Isaac, my Savior Jesus Christ, and my Father in Heaven for the priceless wisdom and insights this experience has and will provide me for the rest of my life, and so to others. I wrote these things (and much more besides) with much struggle and dedication over the course of nearly three months. As the most sacred and most beautiful experience of my life, it is my great privilege and honor to share these things with any and all who read it.

Isaac's story: Post 7

DEAR ISAAC: A Letter to Heaven, and the World
Hopeful Truths Gained From a Most Scared, Eternal Experience

Published 3 months postpartum

PART III of IV- The Letter
Click Here for Part II of IV

In the last few months of his life, every member of Isaac's extended family wrote individual letters directly to him. There are 47 letters in total. Some were handwritten, some typed up, and many were accompanied by photos and drawings. These treasured, heartfelt letters were bound together in a book entitled "Letters for Isaac." Scott and I had no idea until this priceless book arrived in the mail the day of Isaac's memorial service. It now stands in the corner of our living room next to the three red chests holding items Isaac claimed in his short sojourn in "time." As his mother, I too have a letter for Isaac--a letter that stands for the truth I carry in my heart--truth that will lead me back to him. Not only have I held this letter in my heart for the several months before his birth, but for every month ahead I will continue to add upon it by the way I live my life and share my life with others.

Dear Isaac,
I write this letter as a reflection of the truth burning within my heart. I hope that reflection is as bright as the faith I have come to possess in it and emits even just a fraction of the warmth of our Savior's love. His love is the source from such burning truths.
When you were here with us, you were "Baby Isaac," but from the moment I knew you were gone, you were "Isaac." I could sense the largeness of your fully grown and mature spirit during those moments of comfort at the hospital, and I hope that one day my spirit grows to be as mature as yours is.

Thank you, Isaac. Thank you for your strong example. Thank you for all that you were before you came to our family, all that you are now and all that you are becoming. Thank you for doing your part in His great work. We love you for everything you contribute. I have gained a much closer relationship with my Father in Heaven, found a greater love and appreciation for others, and have now found an even greater purpose and deeper desire to become a better person because of you and because of Heavenly Father's blessing us with you.

I hope to share with others, through you, truth that I have come to know through my life, but especially through this lifelong experience with you. You have enabled me for the rest of my life to testify without shame or fear of man the glorious, beautiful, hopeful and joyful truths that I know are true I want others to have what we have. We have been blessed with something invaluable and we must share it!

God sure knew what he was doing when he sent you to us, and especially when he took you back. He knew all the many perfect impacts your life and departure would have on our family and even others. We sure miss you and often wish you could be here with us, but we know that through our Savior, that time is only "time" away. I am so grateful to know God was and is always in complete control. His allowing your departure to happen so soon is a perfect plan for us. It is a refiner's fire worth submitting to. The greatest blessings often come with the most difficult sacrifices, but it is worth it! Through all the ups and downs, I know that the greatest blessings are yet to come, surpassing all magnitudes of our pain and sacrifice.

Thank you Isaac, for your sacrifice- for yours may be far greater than ours. Your willingness to subject your perfect spirit to an imperfect body and forego the joys of this mortal life is teaching others the greater joy of eternal life. 

We are all blessed because of you.

As I think of the most significant way to bless your sweet spirit, Isaac, I imagine it would be to help you from this side of the veil to accomplish the work Heavenly Father has for us. We will be your best teammates from "this side" in helping to hasten the work.  we are determined to do what it takes to return and be with Him again, and therefore with you and every one of God's children that chooses to return to Him. The drive for our doing just that is our testimony. I bare that testimony, to you and to all who will hear it, that the only way for true happiness in this life and a fullness of joy in the next, is through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. His truth has been restored in its fullness in these latter days through the Prophet Joseph Smith.

Our Father would not leave us here without a way back to Him, and that path is by living His gospel. He is keenly aware of each and every one of us and he waits with outstretched hands to help us back to Him. I know because I reached back and have been so touched by them. He is there and he answers prayers. His love is as real as our experience with you. It is unconditional, incomprehensible and I have gained a much stronger and personal conviction of that as I've drawn nearer to Him through you. His plan is perfect, and we can become like Him if we do what it takes to get to know Him and return to Him. With this as my focus, I likewise will get to return and be with you again, Isaac.

We miss out only in our temporary separation but we are gaining so much more and will receive all and more that we miss here and now. We just have to be patient and wait upon the Lord.

Your precious body still needs to be raised to the full stature of your spirit, and your father and I will have that privilege. Even what we are now doing for Syd we will do for you after the resurrection, except our joy, pleasure, and satisfaction will be a far greater joy than we can possibly have in mortality because we will be free from the sorrow and fear and disabilities of mortal life, and we will know more than we can know in this life. This is a reality because of the eternal family we are through a temple marriage that seals us together forever.

This is the true Gospel of Jesus Christ and by it and through it we have every hope! My testimony of this gospel is the most precious possession I hold, and the most precious thing I can share. Why else would I write my departed son a letter based solely on this? IT IS TRUE. It is precious, and it is necessary for the true happiness of each of us.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the only way back to Him and to each each other for eternity. There is no greater joy than eternal life.

I know that you are anxiously engaged in a good cause, Isaac, and all the while, you are constantly looking down at us. I know these things because it has been given me to know these things in more ways than one. I am excited to likewise be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and together in our world of mortality and your world of the eternities, we will help hasten the Work.

I love you, Isaac. I am grateful for the sacrifices we are able to make for each other that we may each progress in our own sphere until the day we can be together again. I look forward to the day you will return to our arms and we will get to raise you up unto the Lord, as promised. Until then, thank you Isaac, for raising me up unto the Lord. I am forever grateful for you and to you.

Love you always and forever,

Part IV- The last of this four part post will be published on November 4, 2013


  1. So so beautiful. It's amazing to think of all that has been added to your life and others through this experience. I wish the whole world could know what we know and feel what we feel... They will one day. Hopefully we can help that happen soon.

    1. It is amazing--and I wish the world could know and feel it too--soon! :)

  2. It's hard for me to leave a comment because I feel like anything I say falls flat against your perfect words...but I have been following your journey and thinking of you and your family every day. You are such a strong woman, Stephanie. I admire you and wish you the best as you continue to heal.

    And I can't go without saying that those photos of your family are gorgeous - The ones with the bandaid on Syd's knee. Gosh, they are just stunningly beautiful and haunting. Your photographer is very good!

    1. Elena thank you for leaving a comment!!! Thank you so much for thinking of us and for your kind words- I really appreciate them :). And I'll tell my friend who took them your compliment! She will appreciate it since it was only her 2nd photo shoot ever!


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