Saturday, October 15, 2016

79 Weeks Pregnant

I once considered myself 79 weeks pregnant. 
A combined 1.5 years of pregnancy during a period of several years left me still waiting to take home a baby.

38 of those sacred weeks are dedicated to our beautiful 2nd born (into Heaven), Isaac; 41 of them belong to babies I never got to hold, see, name or birth. This explains the 5 years between my two living children.

Several days ago as I was preparing a church lesson on patience, I pulled Isaac's photo from the shelf as an object lesson on the topic. Landon, crawling up and down and all around me naturally became curious at the new object in my hands. It was incredibly touching how long he stared at it, smiled at it, patted at it, then stared some more at his brother in a frame.

In honor of pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, I want to reach out to all those beautiful women out there who walk this extremely challenging path in any way, shape or form. The future is differing for each of us, but there is one thing I have learned for sure and hold on to--the future is bright!

The future is only a second away for some, a day away for others, and a lifetime away still for many. But the future is bright, and it is as bright as your faith in our Heavenly Father's perfect plan for you individually.
The key in this refiner's fire, as in almost any other challenge we may face, is patience-that word we hate to hear when we want something in one second, one day, or even in one lifetime. The time will come. Have faith in that timing and in your future, be it here, or there, where so many await their mommies, where my Isaac (and at least 4 others!) await me. But I will take him home and them home, and when I do, I will no longer be "79 weeks pregnant." For me, that future is a lifetime away, but I choose to be patient because I know it will be worth it when I do get to bring them home.
Time is but a blink of an eye- and that second, day or lifetime will all be one and the same as they are measured there. But in the here and now where a second is much less painful than a lifetime, have patience, and faith. 
The future is bright


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