Friday, January 24, 2014

Sibling Rivalry (and Love) Through The Veil

It felt so good, so different, so unusual, this morning, when for the first time ever, I had to mediate between two of my children--one living, one not.

It was definitely new, and weird. I had no idea it was even possible, or that something like this would ever occur. 

Sydney and I were talking about a small paper origami elephant that was in the office and when she heard the words "small elephant," this apparently triggered in her the memory of "the tiny elephant." 

I took a nap with this "tiny elephant" the day in-between Isaac's delivery and memorial service. I'm glad I did, for I didn't know at the time the sacred place it would end up...

Since elephants are very symbolic to us of Isaac, naturally, we have a few of them around our home.
The bigger blue elephant on the right is the elephant Isaac "gave" Sydney when she met him for the first time at the hospital. The elephant on the left, and above ("the tiny elephant"), is the one we buried with him. 

This morning, Sydney kept insisting that she wanted the tiny elephant and the only 2 elephants that came to mind were the one she got at the hospital and the little elephant rattle she got from Isaac Christmas morning at the cemetery. Sydney likes to pretend she is a baby and asked for a rattle a few days before Christmas. We had the perfect one. Isaac received one baby rattle at his shower and it just happened to be a little blue elephant rattle. :)

But these were clearly not the elephants she was referring to. When I showed Sydney the picture on the left and asked her if this was the elephant she was talking about her eyes widened and she said:

"Yes! Isaac has the tiny elephant and 
he just won't share it with me!" 

It made me smile to think of this unique idea developing in Sydney's head, and it felt kind of good to be the one responsible to address the issue, like Isaac was really here or something to mediate between the two of them.

But Sydney's tears were real, and she was getting very upset.
I had no idea why suddenly, this elephant was so important to her or why she was feeling so strongly about it.

I tried explaining to her in a few different ways that it was Isaac's elephant and that it is buried with him so we can't get it--but this only made her more upset.

Then I thought of Isaac, if he could, he truly would share it with her, he would give it to her. He would want her to have it.

In thinking of Isaac, the perfect words came. 

I told her that Isaac wants to share it with her, but because mommy and daddy put it in there with him and the box is closed for now that when Jesus comes again and "opens the box"to bring Isaac to life again, that she can have "the tiny elephant" again at that time.

She immediately got happy and excited, because she understood it, and said:

"OK! When Jesus comes and opens the box
then Isaac will share the elephant with me!"

It impresses me--the continuing relationship through the veil between Sydney and her brother, Isaac...

...not the fact that it's continuing, but that I am able to witness it.

It is such an honor and a privilege to be a part of their special, and eternal bond--the bond I could feel between them when he was here, and the bond I continue to feel between them now, through the veil.


  1. So so precious! Syd is a bright lil gal. What a neat experience for all of you. I love how Heavenly Father works and how he sends his love. Cute experience.

  2. That is so sweet. I love how you teach her the gospel and how clearly she understands it. What a precious experience. Love you guys!

  3. That is so sweet. I love how you teach her the gospel and how clearly she understands it. What a precious experience. Love you guys!

  4. Thanks to you both!! Love you too :)

  5. this is such a pure, sweet story. you are a very blessed mama.


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