Monday, December 23, 2013

3 Reasons I Love You (After 5 Years of Marriage)

Since the day we were married (5 years and 3 days ago to be exact), there has always been much symbolism for us in the number 3. 
We find it in thekisses before he leaves for the day, the 3 knocks on the window when he comes home, the 3 honks of the car horn, 3 flashes of the headlights from behind, or the 3 taps on the red tail lights in return.
The symbolism is in the 3 squeezes of my hand at church, in a restauraunt, or during a movie.
3 is the number of times we've been pregnant, the number of loops on my wedding ring, and the number of sides on the diamond it displays.
Most importantly, 3 is the number of individuals in our marriage- Scott, myself, and God.                                                                   
My wedding ring, representing our 3 way relationship
with each other and God.
As we (the 2 bottom corners of the triangle, grow closer to
God (the top of the triangle), we grow closer to each other,
ultimately becoming one with each other and God.  
There has always been something special about the number 3 for me; (graciously borrowed as my lucky number from my older sister when I was little :)) But for US3 of any of these things holds the meaning of these 3 special words:
Wedding Day-
December 20, 2008
Happy 5 Year Anniversary, Scott!
I love you,
I love you,
I love you!!!

3 Reasons I love You.
Scott and I have a little tradition when we are feeling in love, as well as when we are feeling unhappy with each other and need a reminder of our love. This tradition is called (if I had to give it a name), "3 Reasons I love You." It's really easy; each of us just takes a turn telling the other 3 reasons why we love them. 
After playing this game so many times, our answers have started to get creative and quite detailed. After 5 years of marriage, the reaction we have to our experiences together are the reasons we continue finding new reasons to love each other.
Here are 3 of of the most significant reasons I have found, over the last 5 years of marriage, why I love the man I married.

Reason 3 
To kick off the start of our 5th year of marriage Scott and I had became pregnant with our first son, Isaac. 

The Tuesday before Isaac passed away, we were in the hospital listening to the decelerations in his heart. I had not felt him kick much if at all in the last several days or even weeks--the hole in his heart made him too weak to sustain the kind of kicks a full term infant produces. But as we sat in the hospital talking about the medical options of delivery and facing the difficulty that whatever rout we chose, there was a grim forecast and inevitable suffering on so many levels- physically for Isaac, emotionally for us, I remember being surprised by what I felt inside of me immediately following these words from our angel doctor:

"Choosing not to go through with the external version and waiting until he comes on his own in 3 weeks means you are ok with the possibility that he could go (pass away) inside of you."

I was feeling the peace and comfort in the last part of that sentence when just like that, I took 3 distinct kicks to the stomach from none other than Isaac himself. It was a miracle of sorts, that he could even manage a single kick, but 3 in a row with such pop was rather shocking to me, exciting, relieving, and hopeful. The 3 kicks Isaac gave helped me feel even better about that most difficult decision. 
Those were the last kicks I ever felt from him. 

Aside from giving me comfort in our medical choices, I recognize each of those 3 kicks as his way of symbolically leaving us with those three meaningful words-

August 2013
We were not aware of what this year would have in store for this baby, for our family, for our marriage. This was a pregnancy and a life that would mold our relationship with God and each other that no other way could. The experience we endured this last year and continue to endure until we can be with Isaac again, is one I am honored to have had so early in our lives, so soon in our young marriage. Because of it, we are closer to God, and we are closer to each other. 

Some time after the following events had taken place, Scott and I were talking in bed sharing our hearts with each other about the whole experience with Isaac, when I felt the strength within me and said to him - "We can do anything together, as long as we have each other and we have God."

Reason 3 why I love you: You are the best teammate I could ever imagine, my #1, my MVPI could not do difficult things, great things, or anything in this life nearly as well without you. Even my relationship with God would take much more personal effort if it weren't for you. Thank you for being my #1 teammate, my MVP in this life and forever.  

We were married in the Nauvoo, Illinois Temple
of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints
Reason 2.

The night of our Texas wedding reception, there was an old mystery man with a beard, who came up to my dad told him, almost in whisper, these very bold words:

  "He will exceed your greatest expectations." 

I don't know what more was said if much else, but from the way I remember my dad telling it, it was almost as if he came and went with the breeze and that was the message he wanted my dad to know about Scott.

I realized my expectations were nowhere near "great" as I had thought when I was humbled by Scott's example of what it really meant to be great during a seemingly insignificant incident.

In our first year or two of marriage, we were attending a BYU Volleyball game on aFriday night in Provo, Utah. Sure, Scott enjoys watching sports, but that night we were going for the free pizza. As we cheered on the team and snarfed on our pizza, we noticed a couple people around us had the most deliciously large chocolate chip cookies that would be the perfect way to top off our free pizza dinner. We looked around for signs of cookies in other people's hands or cookies over by the pizza table but soon figured out that those few who had cookies had gotten them from the VIP room across the building. Obviously, the cookies were not for the fans, but we saw a few others with them and I persuaded Scott into going in to get a couple cookies for us to enjoy as well, no big deal. He went, came back with 2 delicious cookies that we stuffed in our faces and soon enough we were walking back to our car after the game.
Sept. 2013
Scott seemed so hesitant as we walked outside, and he kept looking back, like he had forgotten something. Finally he handed me the keys and said, "Here, go get the car, I 'll be right back." and with that he dashed back inside to who knew where or who knew why. When he came back out almost 10 minutes later, he approached the car with the biggest smile on his face. He seriously could not get that smile to go away and I'm sure his cheeks had to have started hurting after a half hour. When I asked him what he had gone to do he told me that he had gone back in to tell the coaches he had taken 2 cookies because he saw other people with them but wasn't sure if it was ok and could he pay for them. But while he was waiting in the VIP room for someone to "fess up" to, one of my broadcast reporting friends was in there with her VIP pass eating a cookie and recognizing Scott as my husband told him to take a cookie- "they don't care!" He felt totally silly because just after she offered him one like it was nothing, the coaches came in and Scott told them why he was there--to which the coaches responded that no, the cookies were not for the students but that he didn't have to pay and to not worry about it. 

It wasn't like he was even rewarded for being honest- he didn't get praised for coming back and telling he had taken a cookie, and he was even embarrassed when the girl offered him a cookie when he was in there in the first place because of a cookie (seems so silly, right?) - but when he came out of that fieldhouse grinning from ear to ear - it was not about the 25c cookies, the coaches, or any of that but the fact that on the smallest scale in the world, he felt the slightets bit of guilt knowing that he had taken something that wasn't his to take and he wanted to make it right, for no one else but his own conscious. No one would have cared, if they found out or not, it wouldn't have made a difference to anythone but to Scott himself, he could feel completely pure.

When anyone could justify something so insignificant and just brush it off and forget about it, he decided instead of doing just that, which he could have been ok with as well and just been better next time, he chose to put himself in an awkward situation over something so small but made such a big difference in his character and trust with God, and now, his wife. If a random coach can have his trust over something as small as a 25c cookie, I know as his wife, I can have his trust over not just the big things, but the small things too. The small things are what we deal with on a day-to-day basis and this is what makes the difference in anyone's life- the small things.  

Even in his weaknesses, imperfections and struggles, it is his heart that is ultimately what exceeds all expectations. I am truly humbled by his pure heart. 

Reason 2 why I love you: You have the purest heart I have ever known and make me want to be a better person because of it. Thank you for living and growing through the experiences of your life in such a way that has allowed your heart to become what it is. I truly look up to you and hope to become a better person eternally because of you, and with you. 
Sept. 2013

Reason 1.
Though I could tell more stories about Scott, I will spare any more on this outlet and save the rest for my personal journal, but as I think of one last significant reason I love Scott after 5 years of marriage, I would say it is the way I feel God's love for me through him, and it is so powerful. I realized at one point in my marriage how much God loved me because he manifests it in blessing me with Scott to love me in His stead.  
Thank you for not only loving me for me, but loving Heavenly Father enough to love me on behalf of Him, and for stepping up to that large plate. I have truly looked into your eyes and heart and have felt the love of God just by looking at you. You are a wonderful human being.

Reason 1 why I love youYou love God more than you love me, and so you can love me more than you ever possibly could without that love of God because you are learning God's perfect love and always trying to aspire to it. I love that I can feel God's love for me because of the Love you have for me on his behalf. Thank you for understanding your divine role as a son of God and as my Husband. I am truly blessed and honored to have you as my eternal companion. 


December 20, 2013 marks 5 years of marriage with my best friend and eternal companion. He is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am a better person everyday because I have him to look up to and to lift me up. I love him so much more today than the day we were sealed together forever and that love will grow exponentially for eternity.

 It is so true, as we have worked to know our Heavenly Father better and come closer to Him, we have grown closer in love to each other over the last 5 years. I can only imagine what eternity of experiences and growth will do for our relationship and love. I am so excited and anxious for the work and the joy of it.
 5 years down, eternity to go!

First date- July 2008

Where he proposed to me when he got the real ring :)

(Insert - Lots of pictures that cover highlights from the last 5 years
 that I was going to put but now am not....sorry :))

The Waltons 2013 :)
(Isaac is in this picture in spirit- just like he is every day :))


  1. I seriously love you guys so much! Your relationship is so beautiful. You two are just the neatest people. Thank you for both of your glisteningly pure hearts and for the light that you radiate. I SO wish we could live closer so that I could just have the privilege of hanging out with such awesome people. So glad we're family and we can hang out forever, right? :) xo

    1. I love YOU, Mary!!! You seriously brighten my day every time I hear from you. It would be the best if we could live closer to each other!! I would love that! One day perhaps...even in days unnumbered... ;) We can totally hang out forever! Love you!


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